My Writing

I am tired of telling myself that I am okay and that I would be happy for you if someone else came around.

I am not okay; I feel like I                     pushed you away or, worse, like I meant absolutely nothing to you. The person I knew would never make me feel like I meant nothing; that is what makes this difficult, because I can't see through all the miles and see what you mean, see the real you. I want to see you but I can't because I see you through your laughs, your smiles, and your hugs; I don't just see with my eyes or your words but that is all I have--if I even have that.

Through what words I can see you make my stomach roll; you make me tsos and trun. It isn't really you that does it, though, it's the images and stories and moments I see in my head that make me feel like I'm missing something, like I've been passed over.

I want to scream and shout; I want to curl up and cry; I want to hug you and never let you go.

I don't even know if you would want that.