Jesus calling

I want to share something.

The Bible is kind of dry, isn't it? Or at least that's what it seems like. I've never been able to just read the Bible. I've never been able to actually complete a Bible study. Ever.

For graduation I was given this little book: Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Sarah has taken things from her own prayer journal, things she felt God told her in her quiet times with him, and has made a book with a little devotion for every day of the year. She writes as if God is speaking directly to the reader. While what she writes isn't directly from the Bible, she always has a few verses to back up what she's saying.

I started reading this book, Jesus Calling, on my plane ride to Texas a couple weeks ago. I couldn't have picked a better time to pick up this book. I started reading with the entry for May 25; this is what Sarah wrote:

"The world is too much with you, My child. Your mind leaps from problem to problem to problem, tangling your thoughts in anxious knots. When you think like that, you leave Me out of your world-view and your mind becomes darkened. Though I yearn to help, I will not violate your freedom. I stand silently in the background of your mind, waiting for you to remember that I am with you.

When you turn from your problems to My Presence, your load is immediately lighter. Circumstances may not have changed, but we carry your burdens together. Your compulsion to "fix" everything gives way to deep, satisfying connection with Me. Together we can handle whatever this day brings." 

I was hooked. I read the entries for the 26th and the 27th, too (it was actually the 27th that day), and read the verses that went with the entries. But I still didn't feel satisfied. I flipped open my Bible to the New Testament and just started reading. I think I read three whole books in half an hour. I never read my Bible like that. For some reason, I decided to put down my Bible and pick up another book I had with me (Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer), but it didn't hold my attention as well. It felt stiff, boring, forced, unreal, dry, and maybe even unnecessary. Foer does have a unique writing style that's a little different to read, but I don't think that was why I couldn't get through the book.

Reading Jesus Calling has changed a little something in me: it's revived me, I think. I was talking with my best friend, Taylor, yesterday; she brought up her own spiritual life, and it made me stop for a minute and think about my own. I told her of where I was pre-Jesus Calling, just more than a week before, "I just realized I had taken a pit stop and never got moving again." And it's true. At the end of April and beginning of May youth group activities were starting to die down; I went out of town; then youth group officially ended, as did worship practice. I had no reason for seeing any of my small group girls outside of church. I went out of town again. I actually didn't want to go to church yesterday morning. I was feeling drained and everything spiritual felt like work.

After seeing some of my girls, making plans for coffee this week, and talking about the zumba class we're starting together, I was feeling a little revived again. I feel like I underrate the genuine love, support, and overall life that fellowship with this group of women gives me. I'm going to miss them next year when I'm at college.

But back to the point: I felt like reading my Bible, going to church, and spending time with God was a homework assignment, it wasn't fun; I did it more out of obligation than out of love. I feel like Jesus Calling is changing that, bit by bit. And I feel like being able to see my girls--even if it's to work out--is going to greatly help, too.